


Window over the world

by vogue91



Category: Hey! Say! JUMP, Johnny's Entertainment
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Ficlet, Introspection, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-13
Updated: 2018-05-13
Packaged: 2019-05-06 07:24:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14636919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vogue91/pseuds/vogue91
Summary: Hikaru looked outside.It was sunny, there was a light breeze barely moving the tops of the sparse trees that stood out at the sides of the street where his apartment was.He wished he could’ve done something to feel better, right now.





	Window over the world

Hikaru looked outside.

It was sunny, there was a light breeze barely moving the tops of the sparse trees that stood out at the sides of the street where his apartment was.

He wished he could’ve done something to feel better, right now.

He wished he could’ve crossed that window’s glass, go outside, breath the fresh air, but it was like he couldn’t, as if he was distant from the rest of the world, with no way to escape. Without having a chance to feel better, nor the hope that something would’ve happened.

He looked around, but that room didn’t look familiar.

Where was Yuto’s favourite pillow, the only one with which he managed to sleep comfortably?

Where was all his junk, spread throughout the whole room, on the nightstand, on the desk?

He opened the closet and felt a sharp pain in his chest, finding the exact half of it empty.

He missed the other’s chaos, he missed his stuff crowding the whole apartment.

It was like that apartment belonged a little less to him, now that Nakajima’s traces were gone.

And to think Hikaru had took them away himself. And to think that he had been the one wandering through the house, looking for every little thing reminding him of the younger, every single detail speaking of his presence there.

And when he had been done, when he had erased everything, he had realized it was impossible to forget him. That it wasn’t his stuff.

That he got home every night, he looked at the couch and every time he thought about all the times they had laid there together, all the times he had kissed him, touched him, taken him right there, and on the floor, and on the table and...

There was nothing there that didn’t remind him of Yuto.

And there was no way he could actually forget how it felt waking up in the morning next to him, having breakfast together, seeing him smile all the time, even when things didn’t go as planned.

He turned toward the window again, resting his hand on the glass.

He blinked a couple of times.

If he made enough of an effort, he managed to his the younger’s face reflected next to his own, he could still feel his arms around his waist, and his deep voice whispering in his ear everything would’ve been alright.

But when Hikaru finally convinced himself he was actually there, when his imagination became so vivid that it blended with reality, he turned, and Yuto wasn’t there.

“No, Yu. Nothing’s going to be alright.” he murmured, talking to his reflection on the smooth surface of the glass.

He thought once again about opening the window, and once again he didn’t.

He would’ve stayed there.

Without fresh air, without nothing new, without allowing himself to feel something that wasn’t that burning void in the middle of his chest.

He would’ve holed himself up in that room, behind the glass of that window, filled with his memories and his pain.

Perhaps he would’ve died of that, he didn’t know that.

Had it been like that, no harm done.

In that case he would’ve been able to hear once again Yuto’s voice in his ear, without having to imagine that.

And then, it would’ve really been alright.  


End file.
